on repeat: "Hey Boy"

he still hasn't called
and i'm sure that he won't,
i know that he won't

his loss

thanks for bringing it back,
my dear deer... i like it
even more this time around

check out the original post ici
for the blow's website, lyrics,
and link to download the track

Bikini Kill: "Jet Ski"

repeat
he's so not worth it
and you're way too good for him

...

Ain't got no more
No more candy for you
I'm not your rocket ship
Or your motor boat
Your movie set
Or your cartoon show
Not your fucking VCR
Not you avantegard postcard idea
I'm not your oilwell
I'm not your bloodbank
I'm not your bullet proof vest
Or your Visa card
I ain't got no more candy for you
I said I'm not your vacation spot
I'm not your footnote, freakshow
Or your latest cause
I'm not your view to a kill
I'm not your background tune
I'm not the nutty story
That your neighbors been telling to you
I ain't got no candy for you
I said I'm not your oilwell
I'm not your dimestore novel
Or your prison cell
I ain't got no candy for you

...

this made it through my car speakers
about six or more times on my drive
back to portland from my mom's house
after hiding out from heartbreak
for a couple of days

on the way down, i drove in silence
four hours and some minutes of it,
minus some old radio show action
in the last hour... which lost me, quickly
nazis and such, that was the takeaway, bombs

on the way back, a special little lady
told me to blast some music and rock out
or cry or whatever i needed to do
so i decided to do just that

i thought for a while,
what would not turn me into
a gushy ball of heartbroken tears?

bikini kill

then this track came on
in the random playlist of angry girl
goodness

totally did the trick
perfect for the haters
blast it, hate them
love you
(and bikini kill)

the usual:
website / buy it / download
check it / worth it / play it / do it

xo freelurvers



-->

The XX: "Heart Skipped a Beat"

i've only made it through
the first verse...
i don't even want to think
about the second, yet

i'm not finished

...

please don't say we're done

when i'm not finished
i could give you so much more
make you feel, like never before

welcome, they said welcome to the floor

it's been a while
and you've found someone better
but I've been waiting too long to give this up
the more i see, i understand
but sometimes, i still need you

sometimes, i still need you
sometimes, i still need you

i was struggling to get in
left waiting outside your door
i was sure
you'd give me more

no need to come to me
when i can make it all the way to you
you made it clear
you weren't near
near enough for me

heart skipped a beat
and when i caught it you were out of reach
but i'm sure, i'm sure
you've heard it before

heart skipped a beat
and when i caught it you were out of reach
but i'm sure, i'm sure
you've heard it before

...

i'm on the floor
i don't know where he is
i don't even have a name for him, yet

i hate this
(not the xx though)

check out the xx's website
and be nice, buy their music

wallow in it
love to it
do whatever you've got to do

brokelurving

it's funny how freelurving
was really for my "free" lurving times only.
and when i moved across the country,
before i even ended up with a boyfriend,
this whole venture fell off

well, it's back,
now that the boyfriend broke me
i may end up posting
a lot of songs NOT to listen to
when you're broken up with
and completely heartbroken

but, that's probably because they are
songs that you would listen to
when in love...

it's a balancing act

i haven't slept in days,
seven days out and thoroughly
broken hearted and a ball of tears,
so this is all for now

you get a song too, don't worry
and slowly, but surely, there will be more

MSTRKRFT: "Heartbreaker"

first it was easy love,
now it's heartbreaker.
promise there will be an uplifting track tomorrow.

...

Remember when I caught your eye
you gave me rainbows and butterflies
we did enjoy our happiness
when our love was over
I was such a mess
I smiled at you
and you smiled back
that's when I knew, there's no turning back
you said you loved me, and I did too
now though it's over, I still love you

you're in my mind
you're in my heart
I wish I knew right from the start
all my friends said you'd break my heart
A heartbreaker right from the start

I tried to fight it
I tried so hard
and every day, I pray to god
that you and me were meant to be
but you had another, you had a lover

And now it's gone, I don't know why
I feel like crying, just want to die
I can't look at you, and you know why
no, I tried so hard, to catch your eye

you're in my mind
you're in my heart
I wish I knew right from the start
all my friends said you'd break my heart
A heartbreaker right from the start
[repeat]

...

if this song was playing in the car
nine years ago, i would be saying,
"why did he say he loved me?"
"why was i so stupid to think
he and i could actuually be together?"
"why did i risk friendships for
that one stupid kiss in the hall?"
and lastly, the one that lingered the
longest, "why do i feel so horrible?"

i felt so horrible because it was
the first time i had been in love...
whether what i felt then would be
considered love in my mind today,
i really can't even say. but, it was
the most wonderful and harshest thing
i'd ever felt, usually all at once.

on top of that, i was so young that
boys, my friends, and yeah... boys and
my friends were the two most important things
to me, at the center of my universe,
always on my mind, affecting every decision
i made. so when you told me you didn't
ever love me, that you had always loved her,
and didn't want to see me anymore,
well that was devastating. and when you
later said you wanted me back, i couldn't
have said yes faster, only to be crushed again.
and when you continued to call,
i knew i shouldn't, but i kept listening.
you were one of the hardest people
not to talk to. eventually, i stopped though.
i said never again. no more neverending there.
i haven't forgotten though.

mstrkrft's website
buy "heartbreaker"